Lately

The past couple of months I've felt a little stuck. Actually really stuck. After a May that was big in every way, I've been struggling with not getting much done. From not taking chances or stepping out of my comfort zone to lackluster performances I've been letting a lot of people down.

It's funny how easy it is to get in the habit of disappointment. At some point you just begin to accept the hollow smiles and empty eyes as everyday life. It becomes so easy to forget how life was and just adapt. The power of humans seems to be to survive in any condition, but I'm done. And everyone around me is done as well. It's time for radical action. It's time to scare myself. It's time to get a little weird.

The next time you see me, I swear you won't forget it. 

For the music and the freedom to create the life you want to live. 

I take action.

 

 

 

Lessons in Creativity

After embarking into the creative deep end without a paddle, I admit I have a learned a couple things.

 

First and foremost. Talk to anybody and everybody about what you do. Communication is almost an alien activity in these days of smartphones and unlimited data, but one on one conversation cant be overlooked. The ability to emote and fully express an idea is a rare opportunity in this world and isn't easily forgotten.

 

Second and in an almost direct contrast to point one is that social media is the greatest tool an independent artist has at his or her fingertips. Art can be shared with the world in a matter of seconds, and art that is good seems to end up where it needs to be. No matter how impersonal it may seem at times, social media might just be our very best friend. (RIP Society)

 

Third, learn everything. Seriously even if it doesnt seem useful. The more spongelike your brain can become the more power you truly possess.

 

And finally, making art all day is a dream come true but without investing in yourself youre going to die of starvation. The masterpiece youve been working on for weeks wont do you any good if no one ever sees it. Conversely if you put that masterpiece in the hands of someone else with the intention of eating off of their work, Who knows when youll get your dinner. Build your own business, invest in yourself, and make masterpiece after masterpiece.

Bob

Bob Dylan is one of my favorite artists of all time

 

I can vividly remember purchasing blonde on blonde as a whim, just because I had heard his name come up so many times. I also remember the first time I heard that record, sitting in my a/c less car windows down on a summer day in Houston. Sweating my life away but hanging on to every word, every chord, every poetic utterance. That record changed my life. 

 

When I first started setting up my studio, I took the paper insert album cover out of the jewel case and pinned up that out of focus picture right next to my desk. As a reminder. As an aspiration. One day I hope to write a song that could be considered half as good as any of the songs on that album (minus rainy day woman).

Thankful

Somehow opportunity still knocks.

Somehow she knows where I sit; stagnant. Calling my name like an old friend, she beckons. With a gentle touch from all too familiar fingers. I feel. I feel accomplished. But for what? A general avoidance of all things challenging? Who is to say.

The greatest minds all seem to agree that life does not begin until comfort is given up and question marks lie behind every corner. My strength seems to agree. She holds tight to the idea that I do my best when there are no turns left to take. And she is right. To a point, for when no one is watching I am motionless. Stuck in time as if the batteries have run dry. Glued to my position. Holding tight to the belief that illusion holds the answers and that my next big opportunity is waiting to come running.

I sit and wonder what I might have done to deserve this sort of luck. I sit and ponder why the things I want are magnets with reverse polarities. I sit and think when I should be thanking. 

I am thankful.

Truth, but I still wonder what I could do if I really tried for once. 

Productivity

I have taken a jump(Leap-Risk) A month ago I was at a register, this month I am based out of the spare bedroom. My office is ideal, all the tools I may need are at my disposal. From the out of tune piano to wall of screens, whatever I could dream of doing is easily done. But therein lies the issue. For after setting up this haven of creativity, I am faced with the worst question of them all, “What to create?” 

Before I always had good excuses, I was too busy at work, too drained from school, I just needed a little time to relax instead of work. But now I have none of those excuses. I have truth. Truth staring back at me mockingly. So here I am, twiddling my thumbs, considering rewatching the entirety of the office on netflix. I have no validation for that, it is just convenient and we have a large tv in the living room that would otherwise go unused.

And that issue is my current battle. The battle of convenience vs. acheivement. The battle of short term satisfaction vs. blood, sweat and tears. The instant pleasure of the tv screen vs. the gradual accomplishment of creating a melody that is unforgettable. I know how to turn an idea into a reality, I know how to chase my muse until she sheds light on true inspiration, I even know how to create opportunities where there were none before. The problem is that in that same amount of time, I could be temporarily and instantly satisfied by that television in the living room. 

:(